Why Columbus Is A Celebrated Jerk
Columbus Day has come and gone, and once again I’m reminded of how strange we Americans behave with our holidays. Namely, forgetting the original intent of the day, and doing whatever the hell we want. No holiday is safe from our misuse. We have one day a year off from our “labors” on Labor Day, which we choose to use for camping or drinking purposes. We have Memorial Day, ostensibly for remembering those that have fallen to protect our freedom (the afterlife version of Veteran’s Day, celebrated thorugh retail savings), which we use for camping, BBQing and drinking purposes. Then...
Read MorePerils of Shaving
[I wrote this when I was 20... Decided to post it in all it's youthful glory] I hate that I must shave daily. Since my facial hair is a loose confederation of follicles by nature (otherwise known as patchy), which consistently attempt to form a “beard” on my face, I must shave every day to keep up appearances for my fellow man. It’s a burden but I enjoy people, most of them anyway, and desire to do my part. A rough, patchy beard inspires such a deep uncertainty that a man forced to see such an atrocity would not be held to account for calling off any social contact they...
Read MoreWhat to do when your Cat Headbutts Doorknobs
We have two cats. One is small and cuddly, the other large and demanding of my attention. Many of the mysterious behaviors that plague felines psyches also infects our beasts, but one stands in my mind as unique to our brood. The love hate relationships with the bathroom.
Read MoreHow Much Do You Trust Your Neighbor?
I’ve noticed that we Americans seem to take for granted that everyone is trying to kill us. Perhaps this is nothing new, but it shows in our conversations, or lack thereof, with our neighbors. How much do people, especially those living in the city, know their neighbors? Not especially well I think. Maybe it’s because we don’t need to, being loosed from the constrains of proximity thanks to the internet. But I think it’s more than that. It comes down to the fact that we simply don’t trust people. We look at strangers as potential thieves and murders and not as...
Read MoreParenting Advice for Terrified Parents of Soon to be Teenagers
I told my son that he would go crazy. Perhaps not as crazy as this girl, but similar. I let him know that that as he begins his ascent into teenagerhood, his brain will actually rewire itself. I told him that teenagers turning crazy is a biological fact. I also told him that this particular insanity would reveal itself through his emotions, anger, frustration, sometimes random needs to cry or fight. It’s all very natural. Most importantly, I asked that when he feels the Craziness attacking his brain, and he gets really upset and doesn’t want to trust his parents, that he should...
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