— Josh Kilen :: Stories and Ideas

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May, 2010 Monthly archive

Finding the Values That Might Change Your Life

By: Josh Kilen
12-05-2010
Business, Marketing/Connecting, Story-Narrative

Values determine whether you succeed or fail, what will yours be?

Both individually and as an organization, values drive the decisions we make every day and shape how we deal with whatever comes our way. You will achieve the greatest successes when you partner with a person or organization that has the same values as you.

The choice we have is whether we actively create our values, recognizing them for what they are, or passively allow them to motivate us. The difference is that knowing your values and actively following them makes you both consistent and credible, two major components of gaining trust in others.

Here are some steps you can take to find and follow your values:

1. Your morality – This is what most people think of when they hear “values” but it is only a component. Things like honesty, integrity, and fairness are just assumed nowadays, and you won’t get very far without them. You need to have a strong moral base, but then again so does everyone else if they expect to do business for any length of time.

Basic morals do not differentiate or set you apart, they are the price of admission. Make sure you know them and live by them or you will have a bumpy ride through life.

2. Find your strengths – Your strengths are where your natural talents, skill sets, and knowledge bases converge.

Talents are what you are naturally adept at, ways of doing things that you just get and know how to do such as: creating and understanding ideas, communicating one on one or in groups, competition, or analytic breakdowns.

Skill sets are applications of knowledge that you have learned to do better than 90% of the people you know. Some examples would be repairing electronics, creating web pages, or tutoring children.

Knowledge bases are areas of information that you know better than 90% of the world. Maybe you know all about aviation, or plumbing, or local history, or even marketing. These areas are your expertise.

A fantastic resource for this is Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton. (Full Disclosure: This is a sponsored link)

3. Giftings – Christianity has a list of special callings that people receive, and I believe that people are born with them whether they choose to be a Christian or believe in God at all. Regardless of whether you believe or not, finding your natural gift will help you to understand yourself and your organization.

Are you a teacher (someone who wants others to understand), a “preacher” (someone who must talk to others and tell them what they know), a counselor (someone who wants to emotionally help others), a giver (someone who loves to give and see people succeed through that), an encourager (someone who sees the best in others), a leader (someone who sees the right road to take and pulls people in that direction), an administrator (someone who loves the details and supporting other people)?

4. Desires and Beliefs – What do you know absolutely to be true? (Beliefs) What do you want or wish to be true? (Desires) Finding these answers takes some serious introspection but your desires and beliefs will determine your actions just as readily as any of the other areas.

Now comes the hard part you’ve been waiting for…

Create a list of answers for each of the items above: morals, strengths, gifts, and beliefs/desires. Separate them into the four categories and use as many words as you have to in each answer, just be sure you understand what you mean.

Next, determine which ones truly drive your life and decision making. Eliminate those that do not.

Now, can you combine any of the answers? Are some saying the same thing? Consolidate all the answers that you can, looking for ideas that are similar or close to one another.

Go back through the list if it still has more than 6 answers left, which ones are the MOST important? Get the list down to the 6 key drivers for your decisions.

This next part is harder than it sounds, so be patient. Take your 6 or fewer answers and find one word for each that encapsulates the entire answer. (e.g. “I really enjoy helping others succeed” would be giving or counseling or leading or serving depending on the context. Only you know the true answer.)

This last step is VERY important. Take one answer and explain it to yourself by telling at least 2 stories about a time when it truly guided your decision making process. Be as detailed and thorough as possible. If you have trouble thinking of 2 or more examples then the answer is probably not the right one.

Once you find your values and can articulate them, you are ready to start actively living them. Your business will work best with another business that has and lives the same values as you, which is why it is extremely important to understand what you value first.

There is so much more to this topic, but we have a start here. I’ll leave you with this:

Values are how you do things, your “passion” is what you choose to apply your values to, and your purpose is where all your values and your strongest passions exist in harmony.

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Why Story and Narrative are Crucial to Your Customers

By: Josh Kilen
12-05-2010
Marketing/Connecting, Story-Narrative

As an entreprenuer, I read lots of blog posts everyday and almost unanimously they all trumpet the importance of storytelling and story in your business and marketing. They say all the same things… people relate to story, we need stories, if you want them to remember then you tell them in story. But why exactly are stories so important? They never tell you why stories matter…

We tell stories because they are about conflict.

One man against nature, or another man (including himself), or against man’s own creations (machines). The good stories always show something to watch out for; something that might diminish your resources, that might take away from what you already have. They relay to us a problem on the horizon, not solutions, at least not at first. The problem catches our attention, and only after we have bought into this problem do we look for the solutions.

Because humans have learned how useful stories can be, we inherently pay attention to them. We want to know when the conflict is coming, where the dangers lie. We simulate them in our heads, putting ourselves in place of the main character, so that we can truly see what’s coming on the horizon.

Stories are about a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it, and we all can relate to that in one way or another.

What stories are your customer’s telling? Where are they on their journey? What stories are you telling? Where are YOU on your journey?

These two must be reconciled, your journey (story) and the client’s journey (story). Where the two meet is where you will see increased communication, better understanding, and more sales. If you can truly tap into the real power of stories, the world will sit at your feet.

So,when talking to a client, relate to him or her in story.

Describe the client as the lead character, a person who wants something desperately (Need). Then describe or show the biggest conflict getting in the way of that desire (Problem).

But don’t tell your client the ending right away…

Because there isn’t one right now.

This story will go round and round, repeating endlessly, until a change is made. Until the conflict is overcome somehow. There will be an outcome eventually, but will it be best for the client?

YOU, as the trusted advisor, have to craft an ending to the story for the client. That is your job and really what you have trained for all these years; to provide great endings to client’s stories. If you do not, the client’s conflict will continue and all their time and energy will be wasted in fighting enemies they never needed to fight.

In the beginning, give them the lead Character, the Desire, and the Opposition but save the ending for the right moment, when you’ve built the tension so high the client can’t stand it anymore.

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Thought You Knew What An Elevator Pitch Was…?

By: Josh Kilen
12-05-2010
Marketing/Connecting, Story-Narrative

Have you ever met someone and right from the start all they do is talk about themselves? How annoying is that? You don’t even ask them a question, they just start talking… and talking… and talking… all about them and what they do and everything that is important to them. I would bet that you’re not likely to talk to them again, are you?

I hate to tell you, but your potential clients probably feel this way about you.

When you first meet a potential client, you should have something to say. Commonly called the “elevator pitch”, it’s crucial to starting the relationship with your client on the right foot.

If you think of this as a relationship then the elevator pitch is just the introduction. And being so, it is important that you DON’T JUST TALK ABOUT YOURSELF in the beginning. They don’t want to hear it and they don’t really care.

The client doesn’t care about you or your services, at least not yet. They care about their problems. So what if you are a consultant or marketing guru, how does that specifically help them? So what if you have “world class service” or “assist small business with outsourced marketing solutions”? What does that really mean to them? Those things are ALL about YOU!

The trick is to think about the client in front of you. Think about their story. A story is a character who has a problem which creates a desire, and then he or she overcomes obstacles to get that desire. Find their story’s problem and use that as the base for your pitch. What do they lack in their life that causes them to want to something? Or, what problem does your product solve and how does their life FEEL without your solution?

Once you have figured out their specific problem, now you have to overcome their unconscious blindness. This is the same reflex that helps everyone “bleep” of over commercials or read a billboard and instantly forget what what we saw. We saw them but didn’t really SEE them. Our brains are designed to filter out information we deem as un-extraordinary or useless.

People can do the same thing with your pitch. When you tell them what you do for a living, do people say “That’s interesting, tell me more?” or “Really! How do you do that?”

They should. That’s the whole point isn’t it? To build curiosity and open up more dialogue? If all the client says is “That’s nice” or “Oh, that’s interesting” and they do not follow up with a question, then you have lost.

Problems are the focus, but the proper analogy, or story, will shine the spotlight on those problems and overcome the client’s blindness.

For example, when someone asks me what I do, I tell them that I “un-wrinkle christian business men.” Invariably I get the same quizzical look and the question, “What do you mean?” My answer provoked curiosity and continued the conversation.

Then I extend the analogy by showing that Christian men who own their own businesses are treated by their churches like a cheap wrinkled suit, only acknowledged when they are direly needed. I show these men how to “un-wrinkle” their lives and business so that they can use all the talent and skill God gave them to use.

I create a story that resonates. It gets attention because it is a specific problem that a specific audience understands. So:

1) Really know who you are talking to or want to talk to.

2) Understand their story, including the problems that propel or stall their story.

3) Develop an analogy that shows their problem, how it affects them, and briefly how you help.

4) ALWAYS lead with their story’s problem.

This is just the beginning of the conversation, but at least you will be on the right foot. That counts for a lot in a relationship.

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